Annual appraisal (aka Father’s Day)

Another year of challenges and progress; some opportunities taken, some development still needed… yes, it’s Father’s Day here in the UK, which means it’s time to get my annual appraisal from my toughest critics, via the medium of the cards they’ve made me.

First up is Kid A, who assures me that I am the “coolest daddy on planet Earth”. This is great news, ’cause that’s a really tough category to win: I’m up against Jay-Z and Brad Pitt and David Beckham and everyone.

Go, me.

However, as with all the best appraisals, she has some pointers for areas I can improve over the coming year. “No one can beat you at anything,” she notes, before adding the topical observation (and veiled gauntlet-throwing challenge): “Except Usain Bolt at running.”


Meanwhile, Amnesiac (5) has some useful feedback of his own. “My daddy can run really fast,” he observes, perhaps as-yet unaware of Mr Bolt’s existence, or his sister’s belief that I would come second to Jamaica’s finest, even with a 50m head start. (Don’t worry: he’ll know all about him by the first week of August.) “He makes me laugh and tells funny jokes.” (me, not Bolt. He might run like the wind, but his comic timing is woeful.)

He even made me a card, depicting key moments from the past year, reproduced here for your visual pleasure. To no one’s great surprise, top of the list involves me eating.

Right, I’m off to practice my sprinting. See you back here in 12 months.

On the cover (right): “Daddy waiting for his lunch.” Reverse (left): “Daddy at his computer”. Obviously.

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