Doha-ha

An early summer heatwave shouldn’t have to mean waving goodbye to our sense of humour for three months as well

Living somewhere like Doha – a place that not many people have visited – means you’ll frequently get asked what it’s like here.

“Were you born on the sun?”

Many adjectives come to mind – I’m sure all residents reading this will have some suggestions – but you’ll probably hear a variation on ‘dusty’ or ‘beige’. But at the moment, as we stand on the brink of summer, it’s mainly ‘scorching’.

Despite my best efforts at acclimatisation, this past week has been hard. Summer came early and with a vengeance, affecting everything. Every obligation or invitation is weighed up through a solar filter.

You may think I’m exaggerating because I’m from a country where talking about the weather is a national sport. You may think I have nothing to complain about because I chose to move to the desert, which isn’t exactly famous for its igloos and snowstorms, but blimey Charlie it’s been hot this week; Robin Williams-quoting hot; record-breakingly hot to be precise, and conditions like that rob you of all but the most basic functionality.

If you can’t stand the heat…

Every expat has that one little product from home that they can’t live without. I’m no exception, but I’m pretty sure no-one else shares my choice…

Once upon a time, when my in-laws lived in sub-Saharan Africa, they decided to try an experiment on me.

Sunny days are here again. And again….

I was visiting them for Christmas – their summer – and my alabaster complexion was, yet again, wilting in the heat. It tops out at about 36C there, which was about 37 degrees more than I was used to at that time of year.

They decided to see how much of my suffering was psychological, by hiding all their thermometers and not talking about the heat (these were the days before smartphones and car dashboard displays, kids); their theory being that if I didn’t know how hot it was, I wouldn’t feel how hot it was.

And despite there being no double blind trial, no control group and the results not being peer reviewed (which put its efficacy on a par with homeopathic medicine) the experiment seemed to work well enough to convince me of its benefits (which puts it above homeopathic medicine).